It's quite important to learn non-verbal communication so as to actually hear what folk are saying. Some communication pros claim that between 5-10% of our communicaton is done through the words we speak. The rest of our messages are conveyed through our body language, tone of voice, and facial expressions. During your life you've been sending messages to others through your posture, gestures, and expressions. When you were a child, before you learned how to speak, folk were looking into your little baby face, taking a look at your gestures, and listening to your little cries and gurgles, making an attempt to interpret what sort of mood you were in, and what you were trying to say. And you have been reacting to the body language, voice tone, and expressions of the people around you all your life, even though you may not have been consciously aware of it.
What kinds of messages are you conveying to others with your body language? Does your body language encourage other folks to come up to you? Or do you subliminally warn them to keep away? Take a second to think about how you typically stand or sit when you're with people. What are you doing with your hands? Where are you looking with your eyes? Does your face express interest in the people you are with, or does your face stay a tense, hard mask? When you are sitting down or standing, do you sometimes cross your arms across your chest? If this is your classic way of standing or sitting, how does one think other people interpret this position? Did you notice that most people will subliminally translate your arms crossed in front of your chest as a signal that you don't want anybody to come up to you? Only the bravest souls are probably going to stand up when you adopt this pose.
If you stand awkwardly, with your chest slumped forward, your shoulders bending, and your eyes avoiding everyone else, folks are probably going to decide you are very depressed or utterly short of confidence. They may fret that trying to talk with you will be a clumsy experience. When you stand awkwardly, you don't project any sign that you're assured in yourself, or that you have got any interest in the people around you. Instead you appear to be you are endeavoring to disappear. Regardless of how desperately you would like somebody to come over and befriend you, if your body language projects disinterest in others, it isn't highly likely that many folk will try and start a conversation with you.
If some body language signals can scare people away, are there signals which will encourage folk to come forward and come up to you? Yes, you can look much more approachable to others if you adopt body language that is open and non threatening. Whether you are sitting down or standing, try for a posture that is upright and alert, yet relaxed. If you notice that your chest or shoulders are slumping, straighten up. Become aware of the way you are respiring. Does your breath move in and out smoothly? Or does it move with jerky small starts and stops? If you spot you are holding your breath, or inhaling a shallow, jerky demeanour, this is an indication of anxiety. When you breathe shallowly, you have to breathe more frequently, which can boost your appearance of anxiousness. Consciously tell all of the muscles of your body to relax. Use your stomach to help breathe smoothly and deeply. Let the bottom part of your lungs fill up with air as well as the top. What are you doing with your hands? If you get twitchy in social circumstances, you can feel that no matter what you do with your hands, it is the wrong thing. Many people who cross their arms in front of their chest are possibly doing so at least in part because they do not know where else to put their hands.
Stay mindful of and focused on your surroundings and the people around you. If you find yourself tuning out your surroundings, you will start to focus too deeply on your interior thoughts. This could swiftly increase your tension to a very uncomfortable level. It is very important to realize that even if you are not speaking, you are communicating. You wish to ensure that you're sending out the message that you want folks to be receiving. Non-verbal communication is something worth thinking about, and consciously working on improving. It could be a tremendous tool, reinforcing what. You want to say, or could lead to misunderstanding it your non-vebal cues are not supporting the words leaving your mouth.
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